is turning out to be quite awesome.
Our little family is very, very busy with all things Christmas.
I am participating at almost 100%.
We are decorating, crafting, baking, partying, singing, wrapping, buying, making, laughing, giving and loving.
Lucy is very well. Suddenly she is less fragile, scary and overwhelming to me. She is smiling at me which reassures my worrying. She is bigger too (of course) which makes her seem less fragile.
Millie is struggling a little with refinding her place in our family. She is swapping between acting like a baby and pretending at being mummy. She ends up sleeping with us every night and is constantly seeking cuddles and reassurance and there is lots of acting out (super frustrating but easier to take when considering why she is behaving that way).
Jackson on the other hand has taken it all in his stride. He is pretty besotted with his littlest sister and is very protective of her. He also seems pretty ok about finishing kinder and starting school next year (gasp), me less so!
Lola is still not here and this special time of year makes us feel that missing a lot more than usual. It would just be heaven to have her here too, to have three little girls to watch grow up together. I feel guilty at the end of the day, when we have had a lovely time and have been happy. I lay in bed and remember that Lola wasn't there and I hope she knows we havn't forgotten her.