Saturday, April 10, 2010

There's this thing

...that happens to me in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy. It is called Anti-Natal Depression. Have you ever heard of such a thing?
All day, every day my head says
'You are lazy'
'You are a crap mum, wife, daughter, friend'
'You are hopeless'
'You are fat'
'What is wrong with you'
I hardly move off the couch while this inner dialogue plays on repeat in my head. It becomes a self-fulfilling phrophecy.

I have been here twice before though (I didn't have it with Jackson's pregnancy) so a part of me knows that it will end around the half way mark. I believe it to be a combination of hormones, 24/7 nausea and extreme tiredness and probably grief and fear thrown into the mix this time.

In short I am struggling daily at the moment but I have gotten through it before and I will again.

5 comments:

Maggie said...

(((HUGS)))

Spilt Milk said...

Huge hugs. Hang in there. xxxxx

Anna said...

Thinking of you, and sending big HUGS.

Davina said...

xxx

Chelle, Nick and Raya said...

You are so bravely honest. Yes it will pass. Hang in there