Where I have been

Yesterday we had our BIG 20 week scan. I wouldn't say that I have been sweating on it or even thinking about it, just ignoring everything pregnancy related in the build up.
I guess I was emotionally exhausted after Lola's 1st birthday and my head needed a break from stress and at this point in time it was possible to ignore (most of the time) the pregnancy and just be 'normal' for a bit. It was also a way to not get too invested in this pregnancy until I had a better idea of where we stand. Our scan yesterday gave us a pretty good idea of how things are going.
It was pretty extensive as far as scans go, it took over an hour and all the potential dangers were investigated. So far it all looks pretty good AND 'it' is a girl!!!This news surprised us, we were sure it was going to be a boy and most people had guessed a boy but we are so happy and excited now that we know.

*Rant starts here (r rated)*
Unfortunately there is a bit of the bitter thrown in with the sweet. I couldn't help but feel pissed off that the same level of care I am receiving in this pregnancy was not given in Lola's pregnancy. It would have been so EASY to just do the same extensive tests in Lola's pregnancy as what we had done yesterday. The doctors were unsure at that time as to the effect of past procedures I'd had and decided in a quick 2 minute hallway discussion 'I am sure it will be ok'. They just didn't bother to write the extra two sentences on my scan referral that could have saved a babies life. It is not enough that there is a risk of something being wrong, a baby has to actually DIE before they will bother to write that extra two sentences. Excuse my french but that is fucked!