A Big Change

It's starting this week, the thing I have been dreading all summer, the start of school.

This week my little boy is gaining a lot more independence and the separation from us begins!

It all sounds melodramatic doesn't it? But this little person has been with me Everyday for the last 5 and a half years apart from the 2 days a week of Kinder. Now, he will be out 5 days a week, 40 weeks a year.

It marks a huge change in lifestyle for a family. I feel excited, scared, sad and energized by this beginning.

I will need tissues on Friday (and I'll be taking a few extra for Brendon)

P.S. I loathe contact!

I Have Long Showers.

I realised tonight, when having my second shower for the day, that THIS is the time I give myself to think about Lola. It's not a conscious thing, I just realised tonight that it is what I do. I am not thinking of her every moment of every day but I always spend the entire time I am in the shower thinking of Lola.
Tonight I found myself thinking of the number four. That while Lucy has taken us a long way along that road to healing, I want four. My body bears the scars of four babies, I want four babies. I momentarily considered us having another but deep down I know it's not about the number of kids I have, it's never going to be enough, my missing baby will always be missing.

Aussie Summers

I love a last minute plan to meet friends at a lake in the late afternoon.

I love the kids spending every second playing in the water, even though they are turning blue from cold.
I love chucking a few snags on the barbie for an easy dinner.
I love a great chat with a friend you havn't seen in years while standing in the shallows of the lake watching the kids.
I love a stranger from the next picnic over offering all the kids icey poles because they had too many and they are going to melt anyway.
I love the way kids become such fast friends.
I love the way the kids complain when you announce it is time to head home, EVEN though they are freezing, EVEN though it is getting dark and EVEN though they are exhausted, because they are having SO MUCH FUN.
I love they way the kids fall asleep the moment their head hits the pillow after hours playing in the water.

How Australian is that!

Night time visitors

The fairies paid us a visit last night while we were all sleeping and left us fairy outfits for the party!! Milllie was speechless when she made the early morning discovery! What? Millie speechless? I know!First time ever!


*the above link takes you to the lovely fairy that sent this scrumptious offering! Thumbs up on all accounts from us, the quality is beautiful and the service was excellent!

The fairies have arrived...

Dear Fairy Millie,

We have heard the wonderful news that you are having a fairy party for your 3rd birthday. This makes us very excited as we adore a party.

We have decided to move into your house for the next few weeks to help you with everything that needs doing to prepare for your party. This is our magical doorway that lets us into your house at night while you are sleeping. You mustn’t try to open the door as then all the magic will go away and we will not be able to help you anymore.

You will know we have been to visit your house as when you get up in the morning you will see some fairy dust sprinkled around the doorway. Some mornings there may even be a surprise waiting for you (especially if you have slept in your own bed all night).

Lots of love, THE FAIRIES


*If you click on the picture you can see the teeny little door key too

The next big thing...

on our family events calender is Millie's 3rd birthday.

She is having a fairy party and I am so excited about planning it! I am in my element planning the kids parties.

So send me your best fairy party tips!

*I am up at 5.30 am because I am leaving very soon to pick up my very dear frind from the airport for three whole days of hanging out! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!

Turned the corner

Yep! You read that right, we have definitely turned a corner.

Lucy is all kinds of amazing, she is a very easy baby to look after (now that she is back to thriving), or maybe it is that this is my 3/4th time around. Probably a bit of both I think.

I am loving all the things that were stressful the first and second time around. I love night feeds in bed with Lucy, I love that Millie crawls in to our bed every night, I love all the little baby clothes I have to wash, I love my appointments at the Maternal and Child Health Nurse, I love carrying her around in my sling, I love the way she is always changing, I love trying to make her smile, I love watching Jackson and Millie compete with each other to get a smile from her. Every day just gets better than the last.

I am excited by the start of a new year and it has been a turning point for me. It marks the end of three years of pregnancy and labour, that period of my life is done now. Every day feels like a big sigh of relief that I can just get on with my life with my intact family (as intact as it will ever be anyway). I still feel sadness but more than that now I feel more at peace with the hand we have been dealt. While I wish every day that Lola was here too, I also feel grateful to her that we have Lucy.

This new year is going to be full of big changes for us I believe. My big boy will be starting school, Millie is starting at a new creche and both Brendon and I are hoping for change in our working lives. At this early stage I feel full of energy and excitement for the year ahead.

So welcome to a new chapter in our lives. I am hoping there will be less tears than the last, less sad tears anyway!