Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What's up buttercup (2)

Made: singlet for a little friend of mine as an interim pressie till I finish her fabric dollhouse

and homemade, reuseable wrapping paper (callico)

Making: fabric dollhouse

Challenged: by these bloody fabric dollhouses!

Realising: that I am smack bang average in my grieving! I have been thinking I am crazy and totally not coping the way others do. SIDS and kids sent me a whole lot of reading on grief. This reading has shown me that every single thing I was worried about is completely normal for a mumma who has lost her baby. Even my darkest and scariest thoughts are NORMAL. I am also realising who it is safe to talk to about Lola and who it is not safe to talk to.

Visited and now in love with: Thread Den

Reminiscing: about the super fun weekend we just had. Two very special little people had their birthday parties on the weekend and I got to spend two days in a row with some of my favourite people.

Cared for: by my family. My mum came and spent last week with us and my aunty is coming to spend this week with us. This kind of TLC is just what the doctor ordered.

Love: receiving letters from people touched by our story. After the one I received today (and the lovely gift accompanying it) I suspect Lola may be trying to get a message through to me.

A new role: Bren and I decided we wanted to have a hand in the running of our childrens kinder so attended the AGM last night. He is the president and I am the secretary. Bren is excited because he thinks he might be able to boss me around a bit now, that makes me laugh lots!

Wondering: if I will take this next step

Dreaming: of starting my own creative business

Hoping: to meet my friend M one day so I can give her the hug I keep wishing I could give. She knows what I know

Thinking back: to a more innocent time when I didn't know. Gosh I took things for granted. I am grateful for the lessons I have learnt funnily enough but they come at such a price.

Bargain: my new craft space just purchased on ebay for such a bargain!

Looking: for somewhere to get my tattoo done. A friend designed it for me. (Isn't it amazing how you can have friends now that do lovely things for you even though you have never met!)

Anticipating: fun to be had at crafternoon, it is finally here! (well in 5 days but that is super close compared to a month away when it was organized)

Amazed: by my lovely and brave husband for writing about losing our tiny girl from his point of view. I know it was hard for him but a fathers voice is rarely heard in this journey. He is pretty wonderful.

Touched: by a letter I received from Pip". She referred to Lola as my 'tiny girl'. I like that very much. She will always be my tiny girl.

Missing: my tiny girl. Always.

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