Friday, November 6, 2009

Secret Garden Meeting for this month

Where are you at in your grief?
I think I am pretty close to rock bottom at the moment. I have never known grief and depression like what I am feeling right now. I thought the first few months were as bad as it would get and I was coping quite well at that time. The last month or so I have cried every day and I am barely getting by each day.

Has it been years or just weeks since you lost your baby.
It has been 6 months

How are you feeling.
As above I am not feeling good but I am at a point now where I know I need help to find a way through this. Finally today I contacted SIDS and Kids. They were lovely. I will have a consellor come to my home and support me.

How do you hope you will feel in the future.
I really want to find a way to live in this world without Lola. I dont want to just be surviving, I want to live. I want to be the best mother I can be, the best friend I can be, the best daughter, aunty, grand daughter, sister-in-law. It has been all about me the last few months.

Have you found any peace at all?
Not yet, I really want to though and hope it isn't too far away.

Secret Garden


Jeanette said...

I hope you can find a way to live without Lola.
I hope you do find peace.

Theresa said...

I hope you find peace.

I am glad to hear that you are taking steps to get the help you deserve. I say deserve because you do deserve to heal and live again. I know that at times we think that we don't deserve to do things for ourselves, but we do!

I wish you all the best :)

Chantelle {fat mum slim} said...

I am so sad that you are going through this. I think it's a big step seeing a counsellor, and will be difficult, but good at the same time.

Do you remember how Ava had Christmas decorations sent from everywhere? Can we do this for Lola?

Kristalee said...

That is such a lovely idea Chantelle. I have Christmas on my mind at the moment. I have been making decorations for the grandparents that have Lola embroidered on them since they have a decoration for all the other grandkids we cant have Lola miss out.

Franchesca Cox said...

Hoping you find the peace your heart craves. Thank you for sharing.


Rikki said...

I really hope that you can find a way to live again.

Once A Mother said...

your words about wanting to live not just survive cut through me. I know exactly what you mean.
Peace xx

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, you are a great sister-in-law. We know you are going through tough times and we are here for you. No questions asked, no expectations, as promised x

p.s. your a pretty damn fantastic aunty too x

Jenn said...

Good for you lovely. I hope you find peace and happiness in life as it is now, though not what you had hoped and dreamed. I also hope the counselor helps you in this new journey. XX