A friend told me about a book yesterday that she thought I should read it is "An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination" by Elizabeth McCracken. The story is the authors experience of going through exactly what I am going through right now. It is funny that she told me about this yesterday as I had gone into a book shop to look for something like this and had no luck! For some strange reason I have been craving reading other womens experience of having a stillborn baby.
I started reading the book last night, many times already I have thought "wow, that sums up exactly how I feel". However there has also been things that McCracken did differently to me. As I read about these things I felt guilty, as if I had done the wrong thing. An example is that McCracken and her husband chose not to have any photos taken of their baby boy whereas we went so far as to have a photographer present. I love and treasure the photos we have so why did I feel guilty about having them when reading somebody elses reasons for not having photos? I dont know the answer but maybe it is because when you go through something like this you have no point of reference on what is the right and wrong thing to do, you just do what feels right at the time and hope you have made the right decision in the long run.
I plan on spending my weekend reading, crafting, keeping all snuggly warm at home with my babies and hubby and anticipating the arrival of my aunty on sunday and my cousin on monday. Sounds like a fabbo plan to me!
Have a great weekend everybody xxxx