Monday, July 13, 2009
My poor little blog has been a bit neglected of late, but I think that is a sign of happy, busy times! I feel like I am channeling Mr Strong at the moment. Jackson loves reading the book and giving demonstrations on how he is like Mr Strong too. Maybe he should be our family mascot. (we dont eat anywhere near as many eggs as Mr Strong though)
I think my families latest spurt of strength can be attributed to my Aunty and cousin's visit last week. We were smothered in love and TLC by my Aunty, she is a born mother and we all adore her, I want to be just like her. And my cousin made us laugh a lot.
My Aunty and I have always been very close, her home was a sanctuary to me while growing up. Now I feel like we are even closer, she really understands the new feelings I am having as a mother now that I have lost a child. You see my Aunty struggled for years to conceive her babies and faced the prospect of not being able to have any of her own. I think there are similarities in our experiences that enable her to understand how I am feeling, what I need to hear and how she can support me plus she knows me so well (we are two peas in a pod). It is really hard to explain but I feel an intense need to savour every moment of being my childrens mother, of us being a family. She knows that feeling.
What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Sometimes I forget, sometimes there is shit but hopefully it wont take me long to get through that and find the light again.