Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Result

Today was the big day, the day I have been anticipating for what feels like forever. We had our appointment at the hospital to get the autopsy results. I wasn't a complete mess like I expected to be, I managed to have a clear mind and get all the information I wanted. I have another appoinmtent next tuesday as well though so if any more questions come to mind I have another opportunity to ask!

The result came back that I had a plancental abruption which means that 25% of the placenta had come away from the uterine wall which was probably caused by a clot behind the placenta. This meant that Lola's blood supply was compromised. We were told that the tests done on Lola showed that she was perfect and healthy. This part was a kick in the teeth to us.

The thursday before Lola died I started to bleed. We rushed into emergency and Lola and I were monitored and everything was fine but I was asked to return the next day for further monitoring. I turned up on the friday and was strapped onto the heart monitor. The midwife told me that she was very quiet and so they gave me something to eat to see if she would perk up. She didn't. They then said that I should go for a walk and have some lunch to see if that would make a difference. They then changed their mind and told me that actually they thought everything was fine. The nurse then took me through to another machine to check the fluid around the baby, her comment was 'oh it is past it's use by date in here' but then, again, she changed her mind and decided everything was ok. I was sent home. Sometime in the next 24 hours Lola died.

Those three things in combination with each other, 1. bleeding 2. slow heartbeat 3. low fluid levels around the baby, should have had me admitted to the hospital and been induced or at the very least an ultrasound and more monitoring. If this had of happened then I would be holding Lola in my arms right now! Why this didn't happen I dont know.

Very conveniently the records of my monitoring on that friday are not in my file! The doctor who talked to us today had no record of me visiting the hospital on that day. I saw him grimace when I told him what had happened and he admitted I should have been induced. That is part of the reason I have to go back next tuesday, he was going to attempt to locate the report from that day.

I feel so angry today. Stupid mistakes were made and the cost was my daughters life. It is such a waste. Why were these mistakes made? Were they too busy, not enough beds? Had they seen lots of women in exactly my situation and everything turned out fine? I have to take this further, it feels wrong to just let it slide, like I dont care. We will see what transpires next tuesday and then make decisions on what next.

Thankyou for all the supportive messages, emails and calls over the last few days, it helps so much xxx


Jessica said...

I wouldn't let it slide either. I know nothing can bring sweet Lola back but if you take it further, maybe they can change procedures or it might teach a lesson to the staff so that no more precious bubbas are lost. I hope they can find your report for your meeting next week. Thinking of you guys. Jess xxxxxxx

Kat said...

You have a right to be angry, robbed, cheated and frustrated. We rely on others that we trust to help us and keep our babies safe and that process failed your baby and your family. someone elses actions. We hear it so many times and yet others will never get it.

You have your answers now and im angry that your notes are not filed correctly, just like the doctor who treated hannah the day she died didnt write up her notes until 4 weeks AFTER the event.

Take it further, you have many supporters and I know there is so much more to be learned. DOnt let this happen to others K, educate pregnant mothers on your experience and together your journey with lola will save more lives too.

Hugs my dear friend you are not alone in the fight for justice

Anonymous said...

Kristalee, you did everything right and listened to the people who were supposed to make sure that you and Lola were safe and healthy. This should not have happened to you. In your shoes I suspect I'd want to take things further too - I hope that some procedures or staff training can change to prevent this from happening to anyone else. That would be one lovely legacy from Lola. Hang in there - I so admire your ability to stay composed and focused through such a difficult experience.

Lover of Little Things said...

I second these comments, i just haven't been capable of writing them.

Do whatever you think you need to Darlin. You have our love and support in anything you decide to do.

XXLiv & Littles.

megs said...

I also don't think I can write a comment as eloquent as the ones above. If you feel you can, take it further. This should not have happened to you.
Lots of love. xxoo

Liv said...

Sending you hugs xx

Anonymous said...

I can only imagine how angry and frustrated you must be feeling: the injustice of your daughter dying due others' incompetence.

Like others have said, if you feel that you can pursue it then does so...

Take care - xx

sofrenchysochic said...

So sorry to hear that the loss of Lola could come down to someone's inattention or incompetence. I can't imagine how painful that must be.

How heartbreaking and frustrating and just... terrible. I can't put it into words, so I can't begin to comprehend how unbelievable and frustrating this must be for you and your family.

It sounds like you definitely need more answers or you will be driving yourself and each other insane with all the questions. The explanation that you get may not bring you any peace but it could ensure that another mother does not suffer the same situation.

All the best for whatever you decide. You are such a strong amazing woman, wife, mother - I am sure that the path you choose will be the right one for your family.


Kat said...

Kristalee someone told me a few weeks back that our children choose us because of who we are. This same person also said "angels are born and given to those who are strong enough to handle them and fight for them". My heart hurt when hearing these words but as my own time goes forward and our fight for justice I hold them true to my heart that we as grieving parents can only choose to be bbrave and strong and fight for the voices of our beautiful angels in heaven. I guess in war this is what they call honour.

Does this make sense to anyone? Somedays I truly do think that the grief journey sends you to a reality of numbness that doesnt make sense. We still fight and its nearly two years on, its been a struggle but know there are heaps of us supporting you all the way.

If only people knew that choices take our loved ones from us, who is responsible for their choices is the answer i am still trying to find?

Love always

angel_in_heaven04 said...

5 years ago I lost my first baby when he was 10 weeks old. he had his first immunisation and 2 days later he died.
it took the hospital almost 18months to tell me that this was the reason that he died. the autopsy just said that he had a myocardial infarction (heart attack)

i dream of him all the time and he is as precious as ever. i can imagine the pain that you are going through after your beautiful angel was taken and just thinking about it brings back memories of the day our little angel was taken from us and makes me want to cry.

this is the kind if thing that you say will never happen to you and then when it does it doesnt seem real. what did i do to deserve this? what kind of god would take a perfect healthy baby away from us? i still ask myself these questions everyday. it will get easier. it may take time but the pain will ease.

i found this quote just after my little one was taken and thought it might be some use to you.....

"an angel in the book of life wrote down your baby's birth,
and whispered as he closed the book too beautiful for this earth"

i hope you get the answers that you need and my thoughs are with you and your family.

Kristalee said...

Thankyou for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry that you lost your baby too xxx

Gavin Blue said...

Hi Kristalee,
I say, raise hell about this.
Gavin Blue