I am a ball of contradiction today! I am so happy that I will be able to include Lola in such a beautiful way on Sunday. The photo's I have received so far are just lovely. (There is still plenty of time to get a photo to me if you would like to, I just need enough time to have it printed for Sunday) Thankyou everybody for thinking of Lola.
On the other hand, today is the start of my very last week of maternity leave so I am very anxious about what is to come. When Lola was first born I thought giving myself 5 months off work was generous. I thought I would be well on the way to healing by now. The reality is, I am not. I am still hurting and missing her so much. By giving myself 5 months off I feel like the end of next week is my deadline, it is time to move on now. I now realise that is never going to happen but I do need to learn to live with the hurt and missing.