Why oh why did I tempt fate by mentioning that Millie was finally sleeping through without a bottle or anything. She has been sleeping terribly every night since! How did she know that I said that? I had so much energy on those days when she had slept right through the night. Now I am back to feeling sluggish.
We had a lovely weekend. BBQ on saturday with friends. Sunday morning I took the kids out to meet a friend for breaky and a rummage around the camberwell market and then an afternoon of outdoor delights. Sunday afternoon adventures are becoming a family tradition, we love them! It is so good to enjoy being outdoors and enjoying just being together. I love seeing the kids cheeks pink and happy. Always in the car on the way home I am thinking how much fun it is to go exploring, how much I love my family, how lucky we are to have each other and this absolute appreciation of being together. Always there is a niggling little feeling that something is not quite right, that something is missing. It is not a third child that is missing or a little brother or sister for Jackson and Millie or a baby strapped to my front, it is much more specific than that! It is Lola, only Lola could fill that space, but she never will, not so we can see her anyway. I hope in spirit she is with us though. We miss you baby girl.
6 comments:
Your weekend adventures do sound so lovely. I wish that Lola was with you too. xx
A little bit of whiskey in her bottle should do the trick! Nah, sorry, i believe they do sense your happiness... like Elliott knows when i go to see a gig...he'll throw a seizure...little buggers! You'll get back to you soon enough, hang in there!! XXL
Oh and...i think Lola is right there with you in that car. She may not be plugged into her car seat but she's well and truly plugged into all of your hearts and will be adventuring with you guys for eternity. XXXX
Oh and here's a site i reckon you'll dig....
http://www.livingcreatively.com.au/
you could spend hours on here i swear! Enjoy. XXL
Hey Liv, oh yes I recently discovered that site and do indeed spend ours on there.
I know exactly how you feel hun.. I think about it all the time, and can never put it into words write. But what you said, is exactly it. No one will ever replace our Lola or Owen.
I know she would be with you always, watching over you all.
I think of you often.
I think what you say is so poignant; she wasn't just a baby, not just a third child, she was your Lola, and individual. A loved and wanted person. She can never be replaced, like none of us can. Your beautiful girl is all around you, living on in your love.
I'm glad you're having some weekend fun :-).
Jenn xoxo
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