Why oh why did I tempt fate by mentioning that Millie was finally sleeping through without a bottle or anything. She has been sleeping terribly every night since! How did she know that I said that? I had so much energy on those days when she had slept right through the night. Now I am back to feeling sluggish.
We had a lovely weekend. BBQ on saturday with friends. Sunday morning I took the kids out to meet a friend for breaky and a rummage around the camberwell market and then an afternoon of outdoor delights. Sunday afternoon adventures are becoming a family tradition, we love them! It is so good to enjoy being outdoors and enjoying just being together. I love seeing the kids cheeks pink and happy. Always in the car on the way home I am thinking how much fun it is to go exploring, how much I love my family, how lucky we are to have each other and this absolute appreciation of being together. Always there is a niggling little feeling that something is not quite right, that something is missing. It is not a third child that is missing or a little brother or sister for Jackson and Millie or a baby strapped to my front, it is much more specific than that! It is Lola, only Lola could fill that space, but she never will, not so we can see her anyway. I hope in spirit she is with us though. We miss you baby girl.