Friday, June 12, 2009

The Ugliness

Today has not been a good day. The pain in my chest is making it hard to breath and I really just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until it goes away. I have a bit of a F@#k you attitude about the world and can't quite shake it. I dont know exactly why I am feeling like this today but it could be a few things; the anticipation of a family event without my baby girl, tiredness, or that Millie isn't here today, or maybe the stress of having to answer questions about Lola tomorrow and act like I am totally ok while doing so. I thought it would be useful if Millie had a sleepover at Grandma's tonight so I could be organized for the party tomorrow but I wish I hadn't now as I am worrying about her and missing her. (Her Grandma is very competent at looking after her, I am just a stresshead at the moment)
Hopefully I will get all this out of my system today and be fine tomorrow... for Jack!

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