Friday, June 19, 2009

I wish, I hope

I wish

I listened to my gut instincts instead of believing the doctors know my body better than I do,

I'd had even just a few moments with Lola before she died so I could look into her eyes and know her,

Lola appeared in my dreams,

I hadn't complained so much during Lola's pregnancy,

I'd spent more time talking to and connecting with Lola in my belly,

Lola was still here.

I hope

My family and friends are always safe,

It's safe and not too complicated for me to have another baby,

The pain eases,

Jackson and Millie do not suffer because of our families loss,

That Lola did not suffer,

To dream of Lola,

I meet Lola one day.

I wrote this while at the hospital today waiting and thinking.


Davina said...

I can't wait to read your post after Lola visits in your dreams, I am sure it will happen. I wonder if she will be a chubby baby or a little girl, I am already picturing her as a little girl like the Belle & Boo picture or perhaps she is the free spirited bird. Love hearing your thoughts xx

Anonymous said...

I wish you didn't have to go through this, and I hope today you're feeling okay.

Anonymous said...

I wish that you weren't suffering so much.
I hope that you find the strength to keep blogging about Lola and your love for her.