I wish, I hope

I wish

I listened to my gut instincts instead of believing the doctors know my body better than I do,

I'd had even just a few moments with Lola before she died so I could look into her eyes and know her,

Lola appeared in my dreams,

I hadn't complained so much during Lola's pregnancy,

I'd spent more time talking to and connecting with Lola in my belly,

Lola was still here.

I hope

My family and friends are always safe,

It's safe and not too complicated for me to have another baby,

The pain eases,

Jackson and Millie do not suffer because of our families loss,

That Lola did not suffer,

To dream of Lola,

I meet Lola one day.

I wrote this while at the hospital today waiting and thinking.